We all know that it’s essential to understand our worth and feel good about ourselves, so why do so many of us lack confidence? Why do we put others’ needs before our own? Self-esteem is one of those funny things that we are taught as children to be strong in, but to not have too much of. Many outside sources have the ability to help form our thoughts of self-worth, from families to relationships, so it can be difficult to maintain a solid sense of who we are and what we deserve. Having healthy self-esteem is about setting boundaries and speaking your truth. And knowing how wonderful you are because you can feel it, not based on what some else tells you.
I strongly believe that everything in life comes down to what you believe your value is: The partner you pick, the friends you keep, the job you choose, how well you’re paid and how you approach your health. It’s balancing your needs with the responsibilities to work and other people. If you are always taking care of others, what is that telling your spirit about your boundaries and how you expect to be treated? What kind of relationships are you then manifesting with those beliefs?
It makes us feel good to be helpful and wanted, but in excess, it is eventually to our detriment when we finally realize that we are exhausted. How do you know when you’re self-esteem and responsibilities are out of balance? Your emotions are amazing barometers that simply reflect your thoughts.
Coming into your own power is far from selfish. It’s having the courage to own who you are: a confident, self-assured spirit who expects to be respected and treated fairly. It’s knowing what you like and what you won’t put up with. And not letting your worth be determined by another.
How do you get there? Start with writing down 20 things you like about yourself. Yes, it will feel awkward telling the universe how great you are, but it is the first step in believing in yourself. When you’re done, go back through your list , scratch out “like” and write in “love”. Then read through it again and feel it.
Affirmations are great tools for change. If you simply shift your thoughts, you will begin to believe it. When you believe it, you will live it. Throughout the day affirm, “I take care of myself just as much as I take care of others. I love and appreciate myself”. Affirmations are best done throughout the day, not just once or twice. After all, the thoughts in between your prayers are just as important as the prayers themselves!
What would you do if you had all the time and resources to accomplish it? Do it! Take some regular time alone for whatever hobby you enjoy and get it on the calendar as a regular event that can’t be scheduled over or canceled. The goal here is to find your individuality. You already know what you’re like as the giver, the go-to person, the ultra-dependable one and the caretaker. Take time to reflect on who you are without a partner or responsibilities. Find your worth through personal experiences and things you enjoy rather than through other people. How will you allow people to treat you? What boundaries will you create? Find that inner strength, that knowing, that connection to the divine that encourages us to all be incredible individuals who are powerful standing on our own two feet.